We have been together for 4 years we have a 20 month baby. I found out that he have been having an affair with his supervisor at work. I forgive him for it because i want our relationship to work but I cant seem to forget the affair i keep throwing it in his face.Can our relationship be saved?
you can forgive , but you will NEVER forget
and overtime if you guys really love each other and were ment to be .
Everything will go back to normal ....
When you say you found out, it sounds like he didn't actually tell you.
So, does that mean he would have continued the affair?
The one thing I think about when it comes to partners and etc. is what kind of baby will the couple raise.
If you have a father figure that is going to lie or keep secrets, your child will do the same thing to you and as well as their future partners because if their father did it, parts and pieces of you accepting that kind of behavior is going to validate it for the child. I mean, the opposite can happen too where the child will grow to hate their father because he's a lying and cheatinrelationship affairg bastard, but that's not a good family life either.
But if you know he's not going to do it again. If you trust him and you trust your feelings about him and what he wants for your future, his future, and the family you have, then you just have to have him court you all over again because that can help ease your mind that he only has eyes and time for you. So he can start like that, but that's assuming he still wants the relationship as well and is willing to work for it. As for you, he put a scar into the relationship already, so it's something that's not ever going to go away, so you just have to decide if you can eventually accept it or not. And if you believe in him being faithful, and that you can still be happy with him and the baby, your relationship can make it.
I think it really depends how he is reacting to cheating. If he is truly sorry for his actions then its possible to forgive him. You know him, what's his character like? Is he a good man, does he treat you well? Communicate together, even though the subject can be very uncomfortable. Men relationship affairusually cheat because they feel they are not appreciated or they feel ignored (because you have a small baby). Be more attentive and loving. Throwing it in his face constantly will only make the situation worse than it already is. Good luck.
Bajan Flower, It's doubtful I've seen couples that went outside their and only one couple made it work. Bajan, You can forgive a spouse but you will never forget the breaking of the vows. women takes these vows to GOD more serious than men do for some reason. I wish you the patients and courage it will take to get through this very painful period in your life. I have been there 3 times I'm now 60 and don't want or need a man !!
I think you can but it is difficult. Time heals all even though you don't forget. Its been about two years since my wife's affair and I will tell you that it has gotten easier to deal with it. I don't let it consume me like I did when it was happening and for sometime after that. Good luck.
Once a Cheat, Always a Cheat.
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